And you shall know the truth. And the truth will set you free

I have to come to terms with this, especially just 5 days to the closing of my last proper school holidays, that i am not ever going to have the luxury of having long school holidays - EVER!!! And so it shall be then, after a long 3 months that has been the fastest yet in all my NUS days. In the whirlwind of 3 months, it has been a fruitful and tiring journey. I try to count the number of days i sleep more than 7 hours, and realised i couldn't quite count it up to even ten fingers (including yesterday's solid 8 hours). The best lesson i have learnt in these 3 months is, incidentally, what i was meant to do during holidays but never quite got down to it - REST.

I found out through these "3-month-long" attachment rest is not just a physical rest. I never quite got round to a physical rest except a short weekend church camp in Johor. And when i finally got it, it was too short to even finish heaving a sigh of relief. Such pent-up yearnings for rest, yet so little room for its fulfillment.

i looked for him i could not find
i toiled in the day and wished his presence at night
i longed for him where i thought him to be
i searched for him in the highways and byways
and still him, i could not find
till i entered the house of the Lord my God,
did i realise he was with God
and is with God still
If i ever longed for him yet again, let me look to God

I yearn for a proper physical holiday tucked away in any part of the world, while hating the toil of the every today. I longed for more sleep, while dragging my lifeless heart through the machinations of the daily grind. It was vexing to need rest and not be able to obtain it. But then i looked at my peers or friends who have had it, and then it became a monster devouring them to want it even more. No then, physical rest does not seem to be the best key to true rest. Till i entered the house of my God did i realise, rest is right there with him. There is no better place than to find rest in Him. Because he is the Lover of my soul, he knows best the kind of rest i need. And rightly so, as my Creator.

As this song also goes:

They that wait upon the Lord
Shall renew their strength
they shall rise u with wings as the eagles
they shall run adn not be weary
they shall walk and not faint
Teach me Lord Teach me Lord to wait

when i was embroiled in physical rest, my heart fluttered like butterflies frantic for serenity. But when i dragged myself to the feet of God, that reluctance turned out to be the very thing i needed to do. When i sought the Lord in prayer and songs and worship and the word, the lion in the heart was tamed, and serenity and rest really came. Full rest. Fully rested.

to all who needs rest, find your rest in God alone.